Unity Bank, ANWBN Empower Women Entrepreneurs with AI, Digital Marketing Skills 

Unity Bank Plc has hosted a capacity-building workshop to support the Association of Nigerian Women in Business Network (ANWBN) in a move aimed at empowering women entrepreneurs with the necessary skills required to thrive in today’s digital economy. 

The initiative for the workshop stems from the growing advancement in technology and its impact on business hence the theme: “Empowering Women Entrepreneurs: AI and Digital Marketing Strategies,” which sought to equip women with practical knowledge on how to harness the power and take advantage of emerging technology.

As a platform that drew the participation of businesses from diverse sectors, attendees were provided with tools for leveraging digital platforms for expanding market reach, building efficiency in business operations, engaging customers, and increasing brand visibility. 

Renowned industry experts and speakers such as Dr. Opeyemi Ojesina, the Chief Executive Officer of Jesshill Consulting, Nkechinyere Ojiego, General Manager, of Simba Group, and Mrs. Adenike Abimbola, Divisional Head, of Retail and SME Banking, Unity Bank Plc, led impactful sessions at the workshop designed to help participants grow their businesses by leveraging cutting-edge technologies and customer-centric marketing strategies

Addressing the media after the event, Mrs. Adenike Abimbola said the capacity-building initiative was inspired by the need to empower women entrepreneurs to take advantage of the growing opportunities presented by the evolving digital marketing landscape. 

She said, “The growing digital landscape presents a unique opportunity for women to scale their businesses. There are over 70% of women entrepreneurs in Nigeria who desire this kind of capacity-building programme to improve their businesses, helping them learn how to transition from traditional business methods to one powered by technology, as this will become a differentiator”

While commending the partnership with ANWBN and emphasizing the importance of digital technologies, Mrs. Ambimbola pledged Unity Bank’s commitment to supporting SMEs, adding that the Bank will often pay priority attention to female-led ventures to improve relationships and collaboration with women businesses in Nigeria.

She added: “We are proud of our partnership with ANWBN and the success of this workshop. Empowering women entrepreneurs is key to driving economic growth and ensuring sustainable development. We look forward to more initiatives that support and uplift women in business.”

One of the participants, Mrs. Yetunde Adeniran, a fashion designer, shared her learning experience explaining that with the insights gained here, she has now found more ways of integrating digital technology into many facets of her business. She also highlighted the advantages of Unity Bank’s Yanga Account, which she noted as a crucial tool for small business owners, providing financial support tailored to their specific needs.

In 2022, Unity Bank launched Yanga Account to facilitate financial inclusion for Women. The success of the workshop underscores Unity Bank’s ongoing commitment to supporting female entrepreneurs in Nigeria as the Bank seeks to empower women in business by providing access to valuable resources, financial tools, and educational opportunities that will help them thrive in an increasingly competitive market.

Half Year: UBA Grows Earnings by 40% to N1.37 trillion, Declares Interim Dividend of N2.00 Per Share

Total Assets up by 37.2% to N28.3 trillion
Customer Deposits hits N23.2 trillion, climbs 34%
Makes Profit Before Tax of N401.6bn

Africa’s Global Bank, United Bank for Africa (UBA) Plc has released its audited financial results for the half year ended June 30, 2024, showing impressive performance across some key financial indicators.

The audited financials released to the Nigerian Exchange Limited (NGX) on Monday, showed that the bank recorded double-digit growth in its gross earnings and operating incomes.

At the end of the first two quarters of the year, and despite the tough global macroeconomic climate in Nigeria as well as the geo-political environment challenges across major countries in Africa where the bank has subsidiaries, UBA recorded a 39.6 per cent increase in its gross earnings, which rose from N981.77 billion in 2023 to N1.371 trillion in June 2024.

Interest income also increased by 134.3 per cent to N1.003 trillion up from N428.2 billion recorded in June last year, while total assets went up by 37.2 per cent from N20.6 trillion in December 2023 to close at N28.3 trillion. Customer deposits, also leapt by 33.7 per cent in the same period to close at N23.2 trillion up from N17.3 trillion recorded at the end of 2023.

The results filed showed that profit before tax(PBT) which stood at N403 billion in June 2023, closed the half year at N402 billion, while profit after tax(PAT)dropped slightly from N378 billion to N316 billion in the year under consideration. However, the banks’ shareholders funds increased by 47 per cent from N2.03 trillion in December 2023, to N2.99 trillion.

In line with the bank’s culture of paying both interim and final cash dividend, the Board of Directors of UBA Plc has declared an interim dividend of N2.00 per share for every ordinary share of N0.50 each held by its shareholders, representing 300% increase compared to the N0.50 declared in the similar period of 2023. 

UBA’s Group Managing Director/Chief Executive Officer, Mr. Oliver Alawuba, while commenting on the results underscored the bank’s commitment to consistently deliver value to its shareholders. He said, “UBA Group has continued to deliver strong double-digit growth in high quality and sustainable banking revenue streams, driven by a focused growth in balance sheet, transaction and digital banking businesses across geographies in line with our strategic goals.”

Continuing, the GMD said, “The Group’s performance has been buoyed by consistent strong growth in all core and sustainable banking income lines. Our intermediation business showed strong growth with net interest income expanding by 143% YoY to N675billion”.

On the plans for the rest of the year, Alawuba said, “As the Group intensifies its customer acquisition drive, we are making significant investments in technology, data analytics, product research and innovation to enhance our value proposition and customer experience.”

The Executive Director Finance & Risk, Ugo Nwaghodoh, expressed delight at the milestone achieved by the bank in driving operational efficiency, as reflected in cost-to-income ratio normalizing around the 50% range.

“Our cost optimization provides scope for further moderation, as we explore options towards a drastic reduction of our foreign currency denominated cost components, robotizing and automation of processes and application of artificial intelligence to our operations,” he stated.

He disclosed that the Group will focus on effectively managing the heightened credit, operational, cyber and information security risks, as it continues to conduct its business within the tenets of our moderate risk appetite in alignment with our sustainability goals.

“The Group has made significant progress and is on course to shore up its share capital to support its medium to long term aspirations, whilst aligning with the recent regulatory requirement in Nigeria and other jurisdictions. that we operate in,” Nwaghodoh further explained.

United Bank for Africa Plc is a leading Pan-African financial institution, offering banking services to more than thirty-five million customers, across 1,000 business offices and customer touch points in 20 African countries. With presence in New York, London, Paris and Dubai, UBA is connecting people and businesses across Africa through retail, commercial and corporate banking, innovative cross-border payments and remittances, trade finance and ancillary banking services.

Old English Supermarket Opens In Ibadan, Expands South-West Presence

OldEnglish Superstores & Bakery has officially opened a new outlet in Bodija, Ibadan, further extending its reach across South-West Nigeria.

The firm is known for its high-quality bakery products and affordable groceries. Old English Supermarket has become a household name, providing unbeatable prices and a top-tier shopping experience.

The newly launched Bodija branch located at 39 Oshuntokun Avenue, Bodija Estate, adds to the brand’s rapidly expanding network of outlets in the region. Offering a broad range of products, from their signature bread to fresh produce and essential household items, the supermarket is designed to meet the diverse needs of Ibadan’s growing population.

During the opening ceremony, Akogun Lanre Alfred, the visionary entrepreneur behind Old English, shared his excitement about the new venture. “We are thrilled to bring Old English to the vibrant city of Ibadan. Our mission has always been to provide affordable, high-quality goods to families, and this new outlet is another step toward achieving that goal,” he said. “We are committed to ensuring that our customers experience convenience, affordability, and exceptional service in every location we open.”

With five successful outlets already operating in Lagos and Ogun states, the Bodija branch represents a key part of Old English’s ongoing expansion plan. Alfred added, “Our goal is to become the largest retailer in Nigeria and Africa. We want to help families save money while offering them access to fresh, nutritious food and high-quality goods at low prices.”

The company’s success stems from its customer-centric approach, combining visionary enterprise with diligent service. By adopting a mass distribution model that incorporates the input of stakeholders at every level, Old English has been able to seamlessly integrate accountability with commercial success.

As the supermarket chain continues to grow, Old English is determined to maintain its high standards of quality and customer satisfaction. The expansion in Ibadan, along with other outlets planned for the future, reflects the brand’s dedication to making premium goods and services easily accessible to all.

For Ibadan residents, the new Old English Supermarket in Bodija is a welcome addition, offering a reliable and affordable shopping option that aligns with the needs of the community.

“We’re here to make life easier for families,” Alfred emphasized. “By saving them money on groceries and other essentials, we’re giving them more room to live better. That’s what Old English is all about.

Dapo Abiodun Celebrates Oyedepo at 70, Hails His Transformative Impact

Ogun State Governor, Dapo Abiodun, has described the founder of Living Faith Church Worldwide, Bishop David Oyedepo, as a religious leader whose teachings have brought millions closer to God and fostered a spirit of empowerment and resilience.

Abiodun gave this salutation on Thursday in a congratulatory message issued by his Chief Press Secretary, Lekan Adeniran, to mark the 70th birthday of the man of God.

The governor said, “Oyedepo has become a colossus in Christendom as an evangelist and soul winner, with millions of followers all over the world.”

Oyedepo, also the presiding Bishop of the Faith Tabernacle, was born in Osogbo, now in Osun State, on September 27, 1954.

Abiodun praised the unwavering commitment of Bishop Oyedepo to humanity through his involvement in the education sector and philanthropy, describing him as a man of many parts.

“Bishop Oyedepo’s impact transcends religious boundaries;
he has been a beacon of hope and inspiration to millions around the world. His visionary leadership in the Faith Tabernacle and the Living Faith Church has transformed countless lives, instilling values of diligence, perseverance, and faith in God.

“Through his teachings, he has fostered a spirit of empowerment and resilience, encouraging individuals to aspire to greatness.

“Bishop Oyedepo’s dedication to education, philanthropy, and community development, which has significantly contributed to the upliftment of society, is worthy of emulation.

“Bishop Oyedepo is a man of many parts, a great teacher, soul winner, and a colossus in Christendom.

“We in Ogun State appreciate your dedication and commitment to our society. We are grateful for your impactful messages to our citizens and wish you a very happy birthday,” the statement said.

Tinubu, Obasanjo, Govs Celebrate Oyedepo On 70th Birthday

Tributes have continued to pour in for the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide, Bishop David Oyedepo, as he celebrated his 70th birthday on Friday.

Dignitaries, including former President Olusegun Obasanjo, Lagos State Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu, Ogun State Governor, Dapo Abiodun, and the Delta State Governor, Sheriff Oborevwori, were among the notable guests at the event which was held at the ministry’s headquarters in Ota, Ogun State.

In his remarks, Obasanjo praised Oyedepo’s humility and impactful contributions.

“This day is a great day for Bishop Oyedepo and his family. He started something small in Lagos and then came to Ota, building something that has put Ota on the map of Nigeria, Africa, and the world,” Obasanjo said.

He noted Oyedepo’s miracles as he reflected on the rapid development of his ministry saying, “If this edifice can be built in one year that is a near miracle.

“Bishop Oyedepo I appreciate you because we are close. And God appreciates you because you are close to God. God will keep expanding your cause. Today, you are joining the club of Septuagenarians. You are welcome.”

President Bola Tinubu, in his tribute on Friday, also honoured the Bishop, highlighting his significant influence through educational and health initiatives.

He said, “Bishop Oyedepo has consistently brought pride to Nigeria with his teachings and global missionary work.”

Similarly, Governor Sanwo-Olu, said, “His (Oyedepo) unwavering dedication to God’s kingdom and his philanthropic efforts have made him a role model for millions. The positive impact he has had, both in Nigeria and around the world, is truly commendable.”

The Christian Association of Nigeria, in a statement on Friday by its President, Archbishop Daniel Okoh, hailed Oyedepo as a “legend of faith” and a transformative leader.

He emphasised that the Bishop’s influence extends far beyond the Christian community, underscoring his significant impact on society at large.

Archbishop Margaret Idahosa, widow of the late Archbishop Benson Idahosa, also shared her gratitude, describing him as an “elephant” and father to many who have benefitted from his generosity.

She acknowledged Oyedepo’s constant support through various challenges, highlighting the relationship he maintained with her husband before his demise.

Speaking at the event, the Presiding Bishop of the Redeemed Evangelical Mission, Mike Okonkwo, congratulated the celebrant on a life of resilience and commitment.

“This is just the beginning. Many more years await you,” he added.

In his sermon, Pastor Enoch Adeboye expressed joy for Oyedepo’s life, saying, “Only the living can praise the Lord. We are here today because of the impact of the Bishop’s life and teachings.

“We are here today because the bishop can hear from God. It takes somebody who can hear from the Holy Spirit to start this big work in Ota.

“In the past, Ota was the headquarters of witches. And when you want to say somebody is extremely wicked, you will say he is as wicked as Ota witches.”

Speaking further, he said, “I have been around the world, there are preachers and there are preachers. The man we are celebrating speaks like an oracle of God. When he opens his mouth, wisdom will be flowing out like a river.”

In his remarks, Oyedepo expressed gratitude for the gathered guests and emphasised his reliance on God’s grace.

“I am not an achiever as you may think. I am only a blessed partaker of the manifold grace of God. I am not an icon as some may think. I am only representative of the icon of icons, Jesus Christ who is my saviour and the glory.

“I continue today towards the triumph and testimonies of my life on the screen, just like others do because Jesus continues to fight and win my battles and people think I am such a great fighter. What an awesome God,” the Bishop said.

Peter Obi Congratulates Oyedepo at 70

Former Governor of Anambra State, Peter Obi, has paid glowing tributes to the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide and the Presiding Bishop of Faith Tabernacle, David Oyedepo, on his 70th birthday on Friday, September 27.

In a tribute released via his X handle on Friday, Obi described Oyedepo as a remarkable figure in faith, a dedicated servant in God’s vineyard, and a leader who exemplifies the true purpose of God’s creation.

The 2023 presidential candidate of the Labour Party also affirmed the septuagenarian’s worthy legacies, compassionate outreach, and immense contribution to humanity.

He added, “Your life continues to be a source of blessing and inspiration, reflecting dedication, tireless work, and a commitment to God’s mission.

“Through your ministry, countless lives have been touched, embodying faith, hope, and love. Outstanding Institutions such as Living Faith Church, Covenant University, and Kingdom Heritage Model School stand as lasting testimonies to your pursuit of excellence.

“May God continue to strengthen, guide, and bless you in all your endeavours.

“Thank you for being a beacon of God’s grace. Your remarkable journey will inspire generations to embrace faith, integrity, and purposeful living. May your continued intervention through prayer in the affairs of our country help us to find direction for a new Nigeria.”

‘You’re A Role Model To Millions’: Sanwo-Olu Celebrates Oyedepo at 70

Lagos State Governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, has extended his heartfelt congratulations to Bishop David Oyedepo, founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide and Presiding Bishop of Faith Tabernacle, on his 70th birthday.

In a statement issued on Thursday by his Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Gboyega Akosile, Governor Sanwo-Olu lauded Bishop Oyedepo as a beacon of honesty, dedication, and service, both in ministry and philanthropy.

The Governor highlighted Bishop Oyedepo’s exemplary contributions to God’s kingdom, noting that his decades of selfless service have made him a role model to millions.

“Through diligence, dedication, and unwavering obedience to God, Bishop Oyedepo has established one of the largest spiritual institutions globally, where millions of believers, both in Nigeria and abroad, worship.”

Sanwo-Olu also commended the bishop’s significant impact on education in Nigeria through the network of schools and universities owned by the Living Faith Church.

He said: “On behalf of my family, the government, and the people of Lagos State, I congratulate Bishop David Oyedepo on this special milestone. He has not only touched lives in Nigeria but across the world through his ministry and charitable works.”

Governor Sanwo-Olu praised Bishop Oyedepo’s deep faith and teachings, which have positively transformed countless lives, especially those of his devoted followers.

“As Bishop Oyedepo enters his 70s, we pray that the Almighty grants him continued grace and strength to spread the gospel, support the less fortunate, and bring hope to those in need. May God bless him with good health as he continues to serve both the church and humanity. Amen.”

Tinubu Felicitates Oyedepo at 70

President Bola Tinubu has saluted Dr David Oyedepo, founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide and Presiding Bishop of Faith Tabernacle, on his 70th birthday.

In a tribute President Tinubu rejoiced with the entire body of Christ, members of the Winner’s Chapel, home and abroad, and the family of the charismatic and visionary leader on the milestone, which deserves all the recognition and honour.

The president affirmed the septuagenarian’s worthy legacies in grooming leaders across all sectors of the economy who are inspired by the wisdom of the scriptures.

He noted Bishop Oyedepo’s and his church’s remarkable impact on millions through educational and health institutions.

Kabiyesi Ladoja @80, By Festus Adedayo

A blight that critics hold against newspaper column writers is that sometimes, our shots go off tangent, disenabling us from achieving precision. In the process, they claim, we mis-profile our subjects, literally calling the King’s Mother (Iya Oba) the Monkey Mother (Iya Obo). My reply to them is that, column writers are not infallible because they are columnists… Full stop! My reply is a timid parodying of Justice Chukwudifu Oputa’s locus classicus statement about the Supreme Court. I can’t go the whole hog and delve into its second stanza due to its potential for immodesty. Only Oputa, the great jurist, could so conclude about the Almightiness of the final appellate court.

The extreme ones among the critics compare column-writing’s sometimes imprecision to the proverbial Saare whose demonstration of knowledge resulted in unknowledge. One day, Saare went to the farm but rushed back home, panting. To his parents who were troubled on what went amiss, the young hunter told them they should show gratitude to their Maker because he was almost devoured by a leopard which strayed from the forest. And then, Saare began a description of the strange animal. “It had big, dilating eyes! It had arresting colour!” features his parents affirmed were a leopard’s (Ekun). Immediately, Saare’s father, an Ifa priest, ordered objects of sacrifice to appreciate and propitiate Saare’s “head.” When all the propitiation materials arrived – a big ram, red oil and others – in readiness for the sacrifice, unprompted, Saare then lullabied, in his flippant best: “The leopard was tall, had two huge horns! It was even eating okra!” Saare’s parents immediately apologized to the sacrificial crew: “Our son didn’t see a leopard. He saw a deer.” So, Yoruba say, amonju l’o b’ekun Saare je.

In my 26 years of column writing, (including the years of exits) I have had several bull’s-eye hits and some imprecisions. Two personalities stand out on the list of subjects who, in reviews of their personalities, I sometimes shot off tangent. They were, Late Adebayo Alao-Akala and Rashidi Adewolu Ladoja, ex-governors of Oyo State. When they were both in government, my pen tormented them severally. On meeting Alao-Akala years after he left government, I encountered a man whose heart was as pure as spring water and whose humanity was one every mortal should seek after. When he asked me to write the Foreword to his memoir, Amazing Grace, like a witch’s confession, as the Yoruba will say, I was contrite, “mo tuuba.” While I am incapable of excusing their politics and governance, I can say both are/were great personalities.

In my writings and media strategies while I was myself in office, I wasn’t kind to Ladoja at all. Yet, we never met. However, in October, 2020, we met for the first and last time at the University of Ibadan. I was privileged to be on the high table with him, during a symposium organized by Hon Babs Oduyoye to mark his birthday. I don’t know where I got the audacity, but I walked up to him and introduced myself. He was literally overjoyed to meet me, thrust his hand forward excitedly and we shook hands like they did while signing the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT). What he said about his estimation of me, rather than excite me, saddened me. How could I spend a large chunk of my writings demonizing a man who thought so highly of me? A couple of years later when talks centered on his biography, one of his ‘sons’ told me he was excited at the prospect of my writing it. I was saddened the more. This was the same thing Alao-Akala did to me: he handed me a raw manuscript and said, “except the title, you are at liberty to do anything with it!”

Since then, I have drilled into Ladoja’s persona. Brilliant strategist and engineer, his strongest point is that his political adversaries underrate him. As wealthy as he is, Ladoja is known for his deconstruction of wealth, both in sartorial outlook and materialism. He could be stubborn too, sticking to what he believes in, at the risk of ostracism.

Born on September 25, 1944 in Gambari village, near Ibadan and becoming a Director of the defunct Standard Trust Bank in the year 2000, last Tuesday was Ladoja’s 80th birthday. Here is wishing Oba Ladoja many more years of good health on earth.

The Wayo Imprisonment of Bobrisky, By Festus Adedayo

On February 18, 1947, the Daily Service newspaper published a story whose theme, like the ancient Secretarybird, has remained with Nigeria ever since. It is a story of the affinity between sex and corruption. Son of Alake of Egbaland and a no-nonsense judge, Justice Adetokunbo Ademola, then of the Lagos Santa Anna Magistrate Court, presided over the matter. After the wotowoto of the prosecution and defence, Ademola sentenced a female welfare officer, Ayodele Potts-Johnson, to six months imprisonment, without an option of fine.

Potts-Johnson’s crime was demanding and collecting bribes of the sums of #5.30s and 25s.2d. from two prostitutes, Elizabeth Agadagwu and Alice George, in order to stave them off the wrath of the law. Christened by the Nigerian press of the time a “sensational celebrated official corruption,” the scandal had famous African and British lawyers, led by FRA Williams, and which included E. A. Akerele, J.A. Kester, N.O.A Morgan and V.O Munis, as defence counsel. In his book, When Sex Threatened The State, (2015) Saheed Aderinto, award-winning author, filmmaker and Nigerian American Professor of History and African and African Diaspora Studies at Florida International University, doubled down on the story for his hypothesis. It is that, the popular notion that bribery and corruption were postcolonial vices that erupted in Nigeria in the wake of military rule, was not only unreal but a-historical.

Immediately the prostitutes were apprehended, rather than the office, Potts-Johnson escorted them to their homes. There, upon demanding #10 as bribe, the welfare officer was offered #5.30s by Agadagwu’s landlord, one Bakare, who negotiated the bribe sum with Potts-Johnson in Yoruba. Bakare promised Agadagwu would pay the balance later. The other prostitute, George, also offered the welfare officer 5s.2d. from the bribe amount demanded. If they hadn’t paid the bribes, upon conviction in court, the prostitutes risked two years in prison, #50 fine and repatriation by government from Lagos. But immediately after paying the initial bribes, the prostitutes reported it to the police. The Lagos police then handed them marked notes which represented the balance of the bribe money, on which was covertly inscribed, Wayo. The police also planted an undercover Sheriff to witness the bribery. When Toviho, Potts-Johnson’s middleman, came to collect the bribe money, he and the welfare officer were arrested.

In my piece of February 6, 2022 with the title, Atiku Abubakar and the sexual history of the Nigerian presidency, I explored this theme. I submitted that sexual politics defines and is often behind most of the corruption issues in high and low places in the world. A musical track rendered by Lagos Epe-born Apala music lord, Ligali Mukaiba in the 1970s illustrates this. The particular Mukaiba track speaks about the pervasive influence of women in the lives of men, comparable only to drugs on addicts. He sang “Mi o wa ri’hun t’obinrin o le fi’ni se, t’o ba nwu’ni, t’o ba nj’araba eni, t’o ba l’o ya ni Sokoto, kuru kere o, kere o, kuru kere o, a o tele l’eyin ni…”

Using the lurid story that instantly went viral in Zimbabwe that former Prime Minister, Morgan Tsvangirai, had suffered “a nasty blow from below” – euphemism for impotency – I drilled into how central and virile political power is and how men of power, through their libido, use sex as a locus of power. Attached to that, I argued, is why, agreeing with Prof Wale Adebanwi in his journal article he entitled The Carnality of Power, that all of us – scholars, lay scholars and society as a whole – “need to pay greater attention to the ways in which obscenity can help explain the nature of power.” From Abubakar, to Olusegun Obasanjo and Ibrahim Babangida, I used these men of power as examples of exercises of virile members, to explain how libidinous politics and corruption cannot be divorced in Nigeria’s socio-politics.

Sorry, I digressed. A major obscene scandal broke out last week. It will seem to annotate the above theme of the need for us to pay more regards to obscenities in our analysis of society. It is a narrative which tangentially bears the colour of sex, though it smells more of corruption. With it, we can measure the barometer of how low our society has sunk and how political and social powers are implicated in the rot of our society.

The story starred controversial cross-dresser jailbird, Okuneye Idris Olanrewaju, whose allegedly leaked audio conversation has created a national mess. If the authenticity of the video is confirmed, Bobrisky’s travails will bring back to memory an ancient Yoruba folklore of a man called Alade. Alade was a gentleman whose mutual friend had asked why he always wore his cap all the time. After much pressure, Alade decided to share the secret with this mutual friend, but on one condition – it must be kept secret from humanity. Alade then removed his cap, revealing a short stumpy horn around the frontal part of his head. His friend was shocked but promised to keep the secret. However, he could not stomach the secret for long. Keeping to the terms of not telling any human being, one day, the friend dug a hole into which he screamed, “Alade grew a horn (on the head)!” – Àlàdé hù’wo! Mysteriously, a tree sprang up from the hole and soon after, whenever boys blew a flute near it, the tree echoed, “Àlàdé hù’wo!” With this, the entire village got to know about Alade’s best kept secret.

A social media influencer, Martins Otse, also known as VeryDarkMan, had circulated an audio conversation Bobrisky allegedly had with an unnamed Alade. It instantly went viral. In it, someone, said to be Bobrisky, alleged that he paid the sum of N15 million to unnamed EFCC officers to have a charge of money laundering spiked off the criminal charges preferred by the state against him. The cross-dresser had been jailed six months after he admitted guilt for dealing unkindly with the Nigerian Naira. However, in the same audio, the Bobrisky claimed that he spent her term in an apartment, as against the Nigerian correctional centre imposed by the court. Shortly after the allegation, the cross-dresser refuted the accusations on his Instagram page. He claimed he was victim of a setup. Both the EFCC and Minister of the Interior have ordered full-scale investigations into the scandal, with the ministry of interior taking a bolder step in suspending all the prisons officers in charge of Bobrisky’s term in the Lagos Kirikiri prison.

Beyond the theme of crime and corruption in the Bobrisky case is the Nigerian society’s disdain for considered unusual sexuality and in particular, Okuneye’s audacity to flaunt it. As a measure of its conservatism, the Yoruba frown at counting the fingers of a nine-fingered person in their presence (a kii t’oju oni’ka mesan kaa.) In my April 7, 2024 piece with the title, Bobrisky and Jesus, the tax collector, written immediately the cross-dresser was jailed, I said this much. If you flip through the pages of history, you will discover, as I said in the piece, that from ancient times, the world has never hidden its hostility towards people who profess sexual orientation different from its heterosexual conservative status. This is also responsible for why a large chunk of the black world vents its anger on the western world’s validation of homosexuality. In the 19th century and even before, Bobriskys were lynched like common criminals. Their sin was their considered unusual sexuality. Until then, homosexual activities were classified as “unnatural crime against nature,” while sodomy got punished with, sometimes death penalty.

In comparison with his unusual sexuality forebears, Bobrisky has suffered one of the mildest fates. Between 1877 and 1950, over 4,000 of them were lynched. It subsisted till a few years ago in America. So, when you appraise the collage of apparent gang-ups – VeryDarkMan and others – against Bobrisky, you will get an affirmation of the Yoruba saying that he who does the unusual should be ready for infliction of an unusual reprisal (eni ba se’un t’enikan o se ri, aa ri’un t’enikan o ri ri). Bobrisky’s travails seem to be society’s attempt to deconstruct and destroy this unusual sexuality impresario. When you examine this thesis against the backcloth of Bobrisky’s recent innuendo that he could commit suicide, you will agree with me that the self-touted Mommy of Lagos is in the gulag of a conservative society and may never get out of it alive. If you ask me, I think Bobrisky commodifies her cross-dressing, using it as façade for God-knows-what unpleasant money-making ventures.

The allegation that Bobrisky paid bribe to the EFCC for a money laundering charge to be removed then crept in. The viral audio, amplified by VeryDarkMan, also alleged that he paid bribe to prison top officials to enable him serve his term outside the hostile walls of the Kirikiri prison. On this, all we have been entertained with since last week when the obscene scandal broke is a national breakfast of hypocrisy.

Why are Nigerians feigning prudery at these scandalous revelations? Are we hearing about a story of this stench for the first time? Let us hop down from our high horses. If truth be told, the only way to reform this country is for both the leaders and the led to come clean with themselves. Nigeria is a thoroughly worsted place and all the bounds and parameters of societal civility, decency and global norms of civilized people have broken down irretrievably. I personally overheard an Edo-born prison warder detailed to a politically exposed person arraigned before the Lagos Federal High Court some years ago, saying, “Mek dem post me to (I am hiding the politician’s identity) mek I no buy car? He no go happen!” Last year, we witnessed an obscene altercation between DSS operatives and prison officials, right in the premises of the court. Their beef was on who owned custodial power over embattled Godwin Emefiele. And apparently, his loot. It was later that Nigerians found out that the scuffle was not strictly a turf battle; it was a graft fight, something in the mould of a robber robs the till and a thief robs the robber (ole gbe, ole gbaa.)

Like Nigeria, the prison is brimming with rotund-bellied maggots which reflect the collapse of virtually all the values that cobbled Nigeria together. Apart from decayed infrastructure, overcrowding and allied issues, Nigerian prisons are home to officers who, in saner societies, should themselves be in prison. In 2019, investigative journalist, Fisayo Soyombo, adopting the pseudonym, Ojo Olajumoke, spent five days in a police cell and eight days as an inmate in Ikoyi Prison. It was in the bid to track corruption in Nigeria’s criminal justice system. There was no single whimper from the Nigerian establishment. After Soyombo’s arrest and detention in police custody, he was arraigned in court and ultimately got a remand in prison. He emerged with very distressing stories of illegitimate arrests, extrajudicial killings, bribery and corruption and a criminal justice system that is in a sorry case. He even claimed that a prison official asked him for money to remove his name from jailbirds’ roster.

If Minister Olubunmi Tunji-Ojo is merely interested in the optics of being perceived as proactive, in order to save his job from the Sword of Damocles said to be hanging on ministers, he should let us know. But if he is genuinely interested in reforming Nigerian prisons, he surely has a humongous job on his hands. It is more demanding than the “I swear-to-Almighty-God” raising-of-a-finger he was embroiled in last week. Yoruba talk about how widespread a covertly released fart could go in its “B’a se nyo’so, l’a se nyo’gbo” aphorism. The Bobrisky allegation of Very Important Prisoners being ferried out of jail while serving their terms is almost as old as corruption in Nigeria.

We have heard of a VIP who impregnated his wife while serving his term and who was present at the child’s christening. We have also heard a story, which occurred some twenty-something years ago, of a man who later rose to become a senator and a political party bigwig. While in detention for alleged murder, exhibiting his libidinous prowess, the girl procured for this Very Important Detainee in an apartment outside of prison had fainted under him. If indeed, as it is said, that a people is assessed by the way it treats its most vulnerable, prisoners are vulnerable lots and we should be interested in what goes on inside that nocturne called prison. Until Nigerian prisons become reformatory, as opposed to the place of torment it is today, it will continue to be a microcosm of our macroscopic Nigerian tragedy.

It will be gratifying if Olanipekun Olukoyede, the EFCC chair, on hearing the messy news that his operatives were sunk in the Bobrisky N15m scandal, is silently preparing earthly purgatory for them. He must do as the colonial police did in 1947 to Ayodele Potts-Johnson. This is time for Olukoyede to peel himself of his church mien and wear the garb of a Dracula. Otherwise, he will be dragging in the mud his pastoral calling claim, perceived to be atypical with the task of a crime fighter. If news circulating in Nigeria from those who experience Olukoyede’s men in all parts of the country is anything to go by, he is sitting atop a maggots’ empire where operatives are nothing more than armed gunmen who terrorize and extort criminals of their loots. These Wayo theatrics, in the name of crime fighting and law enforcement, has to stop.