To All The Linda-type Ladies, Yet Life Happens, By Ruona J. Meyer

The reason why you should not (no matter how much hype Nigerians or your fame/money gives you) make statements like “every woman’s dream is to have a husband and a baby” is because when life happens, you will likely find yourself having to explain your own life choices and the consequences you could not control.

It is because you chose to post a bare finger and said I must have a ring on it by next year, that you will have to come and try to explain why the ring never came. 

Because you chose to pontificate on things that are non-linear, you will need to keep rationalising what is plain ol’ life. 

It is why an adult will unfortunately go as far as saying a child was good in pregnancy as though he knew his dad did not treat his mum right. 

A child will now grow up to read the living arrangement of his parents on the Internet, and see his dad’s body part called an “eggplant” because one parent chose a life of publicly generalising on shit that is no one’s business in the first place, and then having to backtrack when happened. 

If you pick the wrong things to soapbox on, that is when you will contradict yourself. It is why Linda cannot sadly see the irony of saying she drove hours to see a man, carried her laptop to his house to spend all day there, yet turn around paragraphs later to say women are strong and can be like men. How about uncle driving to see her? Sigh.  

Abeg, too many examples, from Amara giving advice, yet life happened….life and love is like stretchmarks – to each his own. Face your front or you risk getting into the need to explain.

If you are the Linda-type, realise that you can encourage women to be CEOs, without linking yours or their lives to a man, a child or any such thing that is often out of the power of human beings.

It may shock y’all, but there are self-proclaimed sluts who are, and went on to become, and remain CEOs. Ask Cardi B selling records without standard airplay and Amber Rose inking fashion deals like a tattoo artist at a convention. None of the sex you have or not, or the kids/man you have or not, are the sum of your existence. Receive sense.  

Y’all stop this uniform hashtag goals and shit. When Linda said everyone’s goal was to marry and birth kids, some came on my wall to justify that claptrap. No.

Some women? Their goal in life is to be cancer-free. Is to be sickle cell-free. Is to have their child off the autism spectrum. Is to be able to afford an education. Not be a CEO alone, or wife alone for goodness’ bloody sake. 

 Linda and co, do you. Speak for yourself, fuck as often or not as you like, date who you like, but JUUUUST realise that none of that has anything to do with your Boss Lady quotient and it is nobody’s business, so keep it moving!

And I only bothered to write this thesis because I know a young lady who went into such deep depression because of this fixation on marriage and children that it contributed to her death!

So those of you blindly following advice from one person’s different circumstances you better wake up.


*adjusts throw-pillow*


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