It was a reunion of 25 friends, all men now in their 50s and 60s. They were Nigerians living abroad, spread across countries like Canada, the United States, China, Kenya, Sweden, Australia, New Zealand, Russia, the United Kingdom, South Africa, and Japan. Their friendships had been forged in their younger years in Nigeria. They had all achieved success as professionals and businesspeople. The gathering took place at a posh hotel in downtown Toronto. For some, it had been 40 years since they last saw each other. Emotions ran high as they remembered friends who had passed away and others who were too ill to attend. Among them were happily married men, unhappily married men, widowers, those living with health challenges, retirees, and those still working. Some had children, others did not. The room was filled with laughter, tears, hugs, and even moments of reconciliation among those who had past grievances.
GH approached BZ, a successful lawyer, and said, “Bro, I heard one of your colleagues just donated a library to the law school you attended in Nigeria. Kudos to him. When are you going to make your donation?” BZ responded firmly, “Not from me.” GH, taken aback, asked, “Why not, bro?” BZ explained, “The school almost ruined me. For peacefully protesting bad food, they delayed my graduation for three years. That’s all I think about when it comes to that school. I’m not giving back.”
At this point, JK, a world-renowned surgeon, joined the conversation. “I agree with BZ. I haven’t given back to my medical school in Nigeria, and I won’t. I still remember my girlfriend at the time. She refused the advances of a lecturer and was repeatedly failed in his subject. She suffered mental health issues and eventually committed suicide. The authorities did nothing about her complaints of sexual harassment. Just like we blame the West for the slave trade and demand apologies, the leaders of my former school need to apologize for the abuses that happened under their watch. Until they do, I won’t give back.”
Before anyone could respond, DS, a successful businessman, spoke up. “I’m sorry for what you went through, guys. I had no such experiences. In fact, I just built science labs for my primary, secondary, and university schools back home in Nigeria. They gave me the foundation that Canada built on.”
FM, the provost of a leading public university in the United States, added, “Well, good for you. I wasn’t so lucky. I was the best graduating student in my department. I did my Master’s and started my PhD there, but my supervisor made my life hell. I eventually left for the UK and got my PhD within two years. No one cared about my complaints, and honestly, I don’t care about them now.”
The discussion grew as more people joined in. One friend said, “Glad you were able to move past that, FM. I’ve just given scholarships to 10 students in my former faculty in Nigeria. Yes, I suffered at the hands of some lecturers, but I also remember the good ones. Should we let the misbehavior of a few prevent us from helping the next generation? Shouldn’t we speak out about our experiences to help current administrators and teachers improve? Let’s give back on the condition that our contributions go towards good causes. Let’s promote and invest in academic excellence, human rights education, mental health support, teacher support, and a conducive learning environment through our Alma Maters. You will be surprised at the positive impact $5 can make to an indigent student. Let’s forgive without forgetting, and let our good deeds replace the pains of our past.
To the teachers and administrators in Nigeria today, remember that your actions significantly impact your students’ futures. Positive experiences encourage alumni to support their Alma Maters, while negative ones deter them. Schools must own and apologize for past misdeeds and ensure such never occur again. Only then can we build a legacy of trust and progress.”
Everyone applauded and raised their glasses, cheering, “To giving back!”
Johnson Babalola, a Canada-based lawyer, leadership consultant and corporate emcee, is a public affairs analyst.